Discover the value behind what lights you up or gets you down. Anyway, I do believe that the nine questions are very good ones, and they really force you to think deeply about who you are as a person. Most of my work and life views are value-centered, and you are already familiar with me. I think that the path to inner peace and happiness rests in concentrating on the things that truly mean the most and making consistent progress toward achieving those goals. Therefore, schedule some time for yourself to be alone, get yourself a cup of hot tea, and give the following nine questions a shot.
The first seven questions invite you to think more about your true love and values. After writing them down, do think about how you can start spending more time doing the things you love, or even visit the places that you treasure most often. The final two questions look at the negatives we can improve on. We tend to show the bad sides of ourselves in response to people annoying us, especially when you face people who tread all over our values. This little soul-searching activity is a nice little way to get to know yourself more intimately and might even help you realign your life according to your values.
Nine questions to help you connect better with yourself:
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What do you most love doing, and why?
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What are you most grateful for?
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If you were guaranteed to succeed, what would you try? What would you have a go at doing?
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If you were likely to fail, what would you do anyway because you love it so much?
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What do you love doing so much that you often lose track of time doing it?
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What places do you treasure the most?
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What activities drain your energy?
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What behaviours and responses get you in trouble or annoy others?
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What triggers you to respond angrily or passionately? What are the values that these triggers are stepping on?
So go ahead, and if you’re interested, here are my responses to these questions.
What do you most love doing, and why?
The number one answer for me is spending time with my kids, grandkids, and our furry pet.
What are you most grateful for?
My partner, who’s stuck with me through thick and thin, has seen the best and worst sides of me, especially when I went through depressive moments.
I’m also very grateful that I’ve been able to pivot my life from a rather self-centered one into a life where I am able to be the good in other people’s lives. I am very grateful for the second opportunity.
If you were guaranteed to succeed, what would you try? What would you have a go at doing?
Wow. This is a tough one.
It is the little moments that we live, such as right now.
If you were likely to fail, what would you do anyway because you love it so much?
Darn! You know what? It’s actually the same answer as above.
I’d still like to write a book, or at least get those stories out of my head and give them life. For that matter, I’d still love to continue writing on this blog, just for the sake of being able to write.
Hmmm, what defines failure in this case? That no one reads it? Heck yes, then I’m totally okay with that. (Hello, is anybody there?)
What do you love doing so much that you often lose track of time doing it?
Definitely reading and writing.
This is a wonderful thing since it assists me in entering a state of flow; it’s similar to the feeling you get when you’re “in the zone” and time seems to fade away. You simply become completely engrossed in it, and when you emerge from it later, you experience a sense of accomplishment and happiness within yourself.
In addition, it is a negative thing because there are times when I am so engrossed in a book that I check the clock and find that it is already two in the morning, and I do not want to put the book down.
What places do you treasure the most?
Because of its peaceful atmosphere, the calming sound of waves, and the sensation of sand beneath my feet, the beach is a spot that I enjoy going to and that I consider to be one of my favorite places. Beaches are frequently associated with the concepts of relaxation, taking pleasure in nature, and taking a break from the monotony of daily life.
It is absolutely calming to have a sense of tranquility when I hear the sound of waves crashing on the shoreline. Using these natural sounds is beneficial in terms of clearing my thoughts.
A contemplative experience may be achieved by taking a slow stroll down the beach, feeling the sand under my toes, and listening to the waves. I find this to be a really enjoyable experience. Not forgetting my favorite book. Reading while listening to the sound of the ocean in the background is something that I truly like doing.
Spending time at the beach may be an absolutely pleasant experience if you take a picnic basket with you and eat your food while sitting by the sea. One of the most calming things I love doing is basking in the sun and enjoying the warmth.
What activities drain your energy?
Simple. Being in noisy places, especially ones where people are talking loudly, I’m totally okay with music, concerts, and the like, but for some reason I can’t tune out the sounds of too many conversations happening at once. Otherwise, I am an introvert. Going to gatherings is fun, but it takes a while for me to recharge afterwards.
What behaviours and responses get you in trouble or annoy others?
I definitely act on impulse, especially when I’m annoyed with a person or get upset with myself.
For example, I once wrote an email at work to tell off a senior director I was working with. He treated people terribly and often thought purely of his own agenda. I wrote a long, harsh email pinpointing the different, unscrupulous things that he had done and the lack of respect he showed others, while CC-ing a whole bunch of my colleagues.
I got a nice clap on the back from my colleagues, but also a pretty bad scolding from my boss after. No regrets.
There were times I’ve regretted, though, especially the times when I got annoyed and reacted too harshly to the people that triggered it. These were ones that would cause me to lie awake in the middle of the night, wishing I hadn’t done so.
What triggers you to respond angrily or passionately? What are the values that these triggers are stepping on?
Just like the above, they are mostly people-oriented. I can probably drill it down to a few types of people:
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Those who use and manipulate others for their own selfish agenda
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People who are inconsiderate towards others, e.g., talking loudly in public, playing noisy music in a quiet park, or rushing into an elevator before others can get out,
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People who treat others unfairly, e.g., folk that cut queues, people who make premature assumptions or judge me unfairly, people who only know how to criticise but don’t see that they are doing the very same thing.
Yeah, I definitely respond negatively to people who step on my values—in the case of the above, my values of being kind and good to people. I now recognise that these are not values that everyone has or owns. Expecting everyone to be kind is pretty much impossible, while there’s also that angle that they themselves might be going through some turbulence.
I mean, I’m not always kind and good either, right?
We do slip up at times, so I’ve learned to forgive.
It is part of being kind, too.
Anyway, that’s my take on these nine questions. It’s a brief and simple activity to get to know yourself better and understand your values, i.e., the qualities of being that matter most to you. I cannot tell you enough how important it is for each of us to be aware of our own values.
It does pave the way to living a life that is healthier and happier, and one that is less impacted by negative people or negative emotions, for that matter.
So what are my values? I reckon:
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Kindness and helping others
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The beauty of nature
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Connecting with my loved ones
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Simply having fun!
Understanding yourself is a deep process that needs you to think about yourself. “Do try it out, folks.” And I hope you have fun too.
Wise Words!