Self-discovery is the process of figuring out who you are, what you stand for, and what you want out of life. It encompasses many different things, all centered around one element: you as a person. The more you understand who you are, the more you can design your life around your wants and needs. Many of us have misconceptions about self-discovery. We buy into cultural myths and unhelpful comparisons. Furthermore, we think self-discovery is a one-time process.
Both beliefs hold us back from discovering our true selves. If you want to find out what self-discovery really entails and how you can use it to improve your life, read on. You have immense purpose in this world; you just need to know how to find it.
What Is Self-Discovery—and What Isn’t?
In my little girl years, I used to spend a lot of time in my head creating intricate scenarios. I would emerge victorious in every one of them, prevailing over challenges and obstacles to achieve victory in a variety of different kinds of victories. These daydreams from my infancy evolved into an underlying yearning to discover my own mission in life.
I began writing in my diary, “I want to do something big in life.” I went on to detail how this “big” thing would make my life meaningful.
Did I have any idea what this big thing would be? Absolutely not. But I felt so strongly that it existed in the world, waiting for me, that I considered it only a matter of time before I found it. It was as if my life purpose would simply appear on my doorstep, like a well-timed package. Or I would stumble across it in my daily routine.
As I grew up, and the “big thing” didn’t reveal itself right away, I felt a desperate itch in the back of my mind. What if there wasn’t something big? What if I never found my true purpose?
I never found my grand, true purpose, at least not in the “big thing” since that I was waiting for as a child. I did, however, find purpose in my life. Self – Discovery!
Self-Discovery Is a Process, Not an Answer
Too often, we think self-discovery involves finding one specific answer. Just like when I was a little girl, we assume that a journey of self-discovery will lead us to the magical answer we’ve been searching for. A response to the question: What is my purpose in life?
We also falsely believe that we have one specific purpose. As if we’re assigned at birth a purpose tag, and then our purpose tag is hidden somewhere out in the world for us to find. (Kind of like how the government knows exactly how much you owe in taxes but doesn’t tell you and makes you calculate it instead, am I right?)
Purpose is derived from the journey, not some treasure at the end. Self-discovery involves asking questions and finding answers. But it is not a journey with a final destination, nor does it contain a specific answer for our lives.
Self-discovery is the process of discovering ourselves over and over again as we find out what gives us purpose in our daily lives.
What We Can Unearth in Self-Discovery
Everyone has different ideas about what self-discovery entails. Some think it’s entirely spiritual, while others see it as all-encompassing. The beauty of self-exploration is that you can decide what you want it to be. For the sake of this post, however, and to give clarity to the concept, I’ve provided a list of examples that you can find in self-discovery.
Through self-discovery, you can unearth:
- What gives you joy?
We live in a disease model, which means that we tend to focus on the negatives rather than the positives. Coupled with the fact that our brains are biased to remember negativity more, we’re starting at a bit of a disadvantage. We need to actively train ourselves to focus on positive emotions, like joy, and use them as a starting point. In your self-discovery, you should become more aware of what fills you with joy in your daily life.
- What gives you purpose in your life?
Have I mentioned how you don’t have one magical purpose? (Okay, good… I just want to make sure that’s crystal clear. (Read more about what other myths about finding your life purpose might be holding you back.) Now, this doesn’t mean we can’t live purposeful lives. Finding meaning in your life is not as daunting as you might think. In fact, it merely involves a shift of mindset. Through your self-discovery, you can find—and hopefully design—a life filled with purpose.
- our values (a.k.a., what you stand for)
A critical component of your self-discovery is identifying what core values guide your life. These values will provide the foundation for making your decisions, designing your life, and interacting with the world. When we’re not doing things aligned with our values, we often feel lost or imbalanced. You need to know what you stand for if you want to create a purposeful life.
- Your hopes and dreams
It seems like some people are born with a specific dream. It’s incredibly challenging for the rest of us (normal people) to know precisely what we want. And then, once we do know, we need to fight back an onslaught of fears to fully develop our ideas. As you undertake your self-discovery, you will unearth your hopes and dreams.
- Your strengths and weaknesses (and how you can use them)
“Who you are” goes beyond your beliefs and dreams. It also includes how you function. On your journey of self-discovery, you should become aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Again, it doesn’t serve you to just focus on your weaknesses. Your strengths are just as important, if not more so, in designing the life you want to live. You must discover how you can use your strengths and minimize your weaknesses.
- The things that hold you back
Self-discovery is not focused entirely on the good stuff. (Even though it’s all good stuff because you’re learning who you are.) As you work to understand yourself better, you also must focus on the things that hold you back. What is working against you? What defense mechanisms have you developed that no longer serve you? Only when you can name the obstacles can you begin to tackle them.
- What you have carried with you since childhood
Our childhood has had a significant impact on us. Whether you had a privileged childhood or one that could be featured in a Lifetime movie, you will still carry behaviors and ways of thinking from your younger years. Some might be damaging, while others might be really healthy. Either way, self-discovery is about learning who you are, and your formative years are a big part of who you are.
Knowing that journaling can really help you achieve self-discovery, here are some journal prompts to help you dig deeper into your thoughts:
- If my life were a movie, what would be the title and why?
- What was my childhood dream to be? Have I given up on my childhood dream? Why?
- What is most people’s first impression of me? Is it true? Why or why not?
- What happens when I feel uncomfortable? How do I keep growing?
Wise Words!
Introspection guides us through our complex inner landscapes on the sacred path of self-discovery. Without societal expectations, who are we? What values shape us, and do our actions reflect them? These deep inquiries probe our entire being, calling us to discover our true identities. A spiritual rebirth occurs when fears, restrictions, and buried dreams are faced. We realize that self-discovery is an ongoing journey as we traverse our own complexity. This adventure unravels our past, weaving it into our present and shaping our future. We find our resilience, establishing a road to true fulfillment, and the profound insight that the journey is as important as the destination in self-discovery.
How would you embark on a journey of self-discovery?
I truly believe that journaling is a tool that will help you start your self-discovery journey. Writing down your thoughts is a way to reconnect with yourself, as it opens up new insights. I hope this post helped you see that opportunity or even just get started with journaling!
How do you embark on a journey of self-discovery? What deep questions for self-discovery do you think are interesting? Let me know in the comments below! Look out for the next post!